The older you become, the harder it gets to express your emotions.
From the very first days, once you were so petite and small, it was so natural and easy; you didn’t even need to try it so hard. It came naturally. It came as it was to be that way and it was.
During early childhood and toddler years, the emotions were so raw; there were a whole bunch of other ones you couldn’t control while those long, as it felt, years. Amazement, fear, joy, anger, trust and more of that kind to follow. You didn’t have a chance to hide them nor transform them into new ones; there was no need to do that in those early years of yours.
The older you become, the easier it gets to hide them and swallow those negative feedbacks your body reacts to.
Somehow your response matter, to everything and everyone.
There is no precise time border when it happens, but mostly it’s while your teenage years. It is the time of uncontrollable emotional suppression and total misunderstanding of yourself.
The more you feel, the more you try to hide, escape those emotional low and high points, trying to reach the consensus between body and mind. You won’t listen that it is natural and you need to let go, express yourself in a way you find it the easiest.
We complicate everything and can’t figure it out through this phase without someone’s help. It can be an acquaintance, a friend or a lover. It can be one of those strangers in the streets of your city who will assist you in the transformation of the lifetime.
It would be difficult for sure, but ones you survive this phase of your life, re-cultivate your feelings onto another ground, it will be normal. It will be natural to tell and speak about your feelings towards/with another person, say that they are (insert description here) and accept it as it is.
Everything you would hide before due to lack of bravery and other complicated stuff you experience through your transformation into a beautiful white swan, an intelligent adult, will be dispersed.
It is crucial to pass this stage; once you get through, you’ll be able to control your fears.
It is not always like that. Some people experience this, others don’t. And there’s nothing wrong with you or others.
The older you become, the harder it gets trying not to explode because of emotional fulfillment.
Sometimes you feel so anxious you couldn’t go out for a walk; sometimes you just can’t be happier, and you could cry because everything is just perfect.
The over fulfillment of the secret emotional source, and it feels like it’s going to end in a second, this whole happiness stage; this is when you are more eager to preserve emotions due to fear of losing each of them.
You are a collector but the main thing you protect is not material, but memories and everything connected to them.
You try to re-live them, taste slowly every time you feel insecure.
You try to freeze them and put into your refrigerator, the brain, wishing to keep them there forever.
But the truth is that everything has its due date, and in the end, there will not be a single of them left out there for you to retrieve.
So live in the moment and let yourself be. Be free.
There will be no other same (day, situation, human, etc.) in your life.
Do it just because it can be your last chance.